taniaangel.

It has been more than a year not writing any post and here i finally decide to write since i am so full of emotions right now and i need things to be lay on and i choose writing on my blog. I am hurt. I felt so much pain in my heart. Too much that i couldn't hold it anymore that i came to cry in my bedroom. These days i have been feeling so empty. Empty because i have less people to share to nowadays. Since my 20th birthday i decided not to look for anyone anymore since i have been giving too much care for people. And here's what i got. A heart that is full of my thoughts. A heart that i even don't know who shall i tell to. And every time i tried to share it to my close persons, i couldn't really tell a lot. Since i don't want myself to blame the related person too much. I tried to hold all of my thoughts about blaming the people that made my heart fall into sadness. But there are some times, when things come one by one in my mind, I couldn't ...

Here i am after decades letting the blog being so quiet. There have been many things happened already but yet i couldn't tell you about what has happened before. This time, i am gonna all sigh-ing again with my problem and i don't care about people reading this. Not that i don't love those people that i will mention, but it's just that hell with people who keep their images so well. That's not my kind. I am open-self since i realize that image is not everything. I have been having a confuse mind, and that made me having no aim in living my life. I don't know what i should be. Somehow i am forced to be someone's robot and when it seemed like i didn't go their way, they blamed me for being someone they wanted. I kept all my complaints by myself and when i just want to explained things, i am said that i am not polite with the elder and then they kept my words very well so then later my words will be able to be used as some new words to get me down. I am fee...

Written management is my own statement of controlling your life balance everyday by writing what you have done on a paper everyday. Written management is quite hard. Imagine that everything you need to control should be written on the paper? Just in one day, you should write down your economy, your health, your hobbies, and other activities to get a good life balance? Right now i have around 6 and more kinds of management that i should do everyday. First, money managing. I write down all of my income and spent money on the paper and then the total of the money will be my current money that i have. Second, gym attendance. I put myself as a member of a gym place and because of that i wanted to manage my gym attendance so that i do not waste my parents' money for letting me joining the gym. Third, health rate. Joining gym is not just something for fun but also to have a better body result than we have before, so then, once in every some days, i will measure my body composition and thi...

As usual greeting, hello to my ghost reader or maybe hello to myself (because i think i write and read this blog alone, and no one has ever visited my blog). And as for usual second sentence, it has been a while not updating my blog. So, this first paragraph will be ended in this 3rd sentence. How have you been, my reader(s)? I am all so fine, that to think of it, God hasn't given up of giving me life although i think i have been wasting quite a lot of time already. It takes me just right now to have the courage to update my blog. I was and still is having the confusion of what should be written here while i have bunches of paragraphs to write in. But then, i decided to just randomly write anything that pass my mind right now and this decision couraged me so much as i am writing now. I found myself being useless day by day. And thanks to being this useless and this naturally thinking too much habit, i have realized about a lot of things these past days. In these days, what i have r...

26th September 2014, was the day i was turning to my 19th year still living in this earth. As the time goes by, i slowly felt that birthday is going to be nothing special anymore year by year. I am still the one who keep wandering who would remember my birthday. That's why, until now, i have never actived my birthday information. I just wanted to know who are the ones that remember and willing or even cannot wait for my special day to come. I just wanted to know how important am i for how many people. Because i know, as people going older, they become wiser and know what is important and not important, including the birthday people. And this year, i am so thankful. Better than last year. Last year was the worst birthday ever i think. But, i won't think about it anw. This year's, was such a great birthday. I couldn't tell you how, but i am thankful. And more thankful because knowing that i still have my precious ones to make me happy. To be always by my side and to be al...

Every human should be able to choose from some choices. As human, we grow to learn to be able to choose the right choice. Then, to tell you, from what i am thinking right now, we should decide our choice mostly by our happiness, then priority, and finally for other people's sake. Why am i stating like that? First of all, happiness from what i said didn't mean a happiness for a short time, it is about a happiness for the future. And why happiness? it is because nobody could make you happy more than yourself, because everyone should do another things to make themselves happy too. Next about priority. After we've decided based on our happiness, it becomes a responsibility for us. Which means, we should keep being loyal of what we are doing although we are bored of doing those happiness things. Everybody knows that although we love everything that we do, still there is a time where we are all realized that why should we be loving this jo...

So now i am drawning into sadness Feeling about those people one by one Imagining how hard the life that they've been through All the pain that they kept all these times They wish to speak those emotion out but they couldn't Someone they need to share all those happenings But to find one who really understands is a little chance Confuse who should they tell first from most of the closest and hoping that, to choose that friend as first won't be disappointing Wanting that friend to understand all the shares we've told Sometimes, everything didn't turn out to be what we wanted There are times when that trusted friend has disappointed us Knowing that happened, we're afraid to trust more Then soon we became close-hearted where we hardly to share Still, there will always be a wish to find a trusted one But in the other side, we are afraid that the same one might happen Then it all becomes complicated We need someone to trust to...