Purpose of life, something that I still don't have until today. Even if I do, I can't reach it. This is what you got when you are almost balance at almost everything. Because you have no specific things ypu really like to be achieved. And I am one of them.
I am always this kind of so-so person. I may have many abilities, but actually, I never really get to mastered them deeply. I am good for almost everything, but I could never have been able to mastered them all. I have people around me, but they are still not strong enough to be the reason I want to live and to let them be my purpose of life.
If you say that I am cruel and having no heart at all, well it's okay, I won't be mad. Everyone has been telling me, have your purpose of life. But I don't know how to be one. If I have this kind of friend, I would of course be confuse, and telling them that it's impossible to have no purpose of life.
People who knows me will know how am I. They know that in my productive age, I am still clueless of what I wanted to be eventhough I have so many choices in front of me already. I have unfinished college-study and I am afraid applying for college again to take the real major that I wanted since Senior High School. Since I dropped out from the college until today, I wasted so many times for 3 years already.
These days, I keep thinking of applying college majoring in something I wanted. But I keep thinking that I wouldn't be able to finished it. I don't think that I will finished it until the end from the experience before. And I think, it will be a great bad news if I couldn't complete the college-study.
I am afraid to start again. Moreover, I am 23 already this year. It's not that I am too old to start, but I think, I couldn't just try everything as I want anymore just like the 18 years old people do.
As those thoughts keep playing in my mind, I keep having friends who are older than me, still brave to try new things. Everyone of them do what they like, getting more classes to get a deeper knowledge, and even going abroad to work and experience a lot of things. But I am still, afraid to start.
How about you? Do you have the same problem with me? Eventhough you have a lot of people (moreover the close ones) surrounds you, do you also couldn't have them to be the strongest reason for you to have your life purpose?
E N D
Komentar