taniaangel.

Everybody will always be full of wondering thoughts when they realize having a special feeling for a person. And all worries are out into the thoughts. Wondering is it right to have a special feeling for that person? Should I start trying? How should I start it from? "Oh gosh, thinking of that burns me out a lot." What if I am only one-sided? Oh my, it will ashamed me if I am really one-sided. What if I am behaving wrong just from my first start? That sure would create a bad impression don't you think? All over the thoughts, you will prefer to just stay in the silence and not starting anything. Hoping that this thing will fade away soon. But by that, things have never been better, and of course have never been worse too. The feeling stays. What a rollercoaster thoughts. You know you should try. But the pride you have closes your way to start trying. *Sigh* Things become complicated when thinking about the pride and the ashamed feeling. You end up being more-fire-up b

What do you think of "3 Years" title that I made for this post? Is it good? Or is it bad? Well, there are always good and bad things, never one of them. But I am going to write more about the regrets that I have for 3 years this time. I just couldn't believe what I have become today. I am right now a person who is afraid to start anything, who can't believe in myself anymore, and moreover, all of the great things I have ever done before couldn't let me stay great and even better today. I used to be brave to do everything. I used to keep doing everything, not even care of how the results will be. I am quite fearless. I feel like I could do anything. But those things are buried down now. After deciding to get out from the college, I am nothing better. I feel like I am too late for everything already. Nothing better happened after 3 years getting out from the college. I know I am not in the place for blaming other people that made me this useless. I should be blam

Purpose of life, something that I still don't have until today. Even if I do, I can't reach it. This is what you got when you are almost balance at almost everything. Because you have no specific things ypu really like to be achieved. And I am one of them. I am always this kind of so-so person. I may have many abilities, but actually, I never really get to mastered them deeply. I am good for almost everything, but I could never have been able to mastered them all. I have people around me, but they are still not strong enough to be the reason I want to live and to let them be my purpose of life. If you say that I am cruel and having no heart at all, well it's okay, I won't be mad. Everyone has been telling me, have your purpose of life. But I don't know how to be one. If I have this kind of friend, I would of course be confuse, and telling them that it's impossible to have no purpose of life. People who knows me will know how am I. They know that in my product

Hello, Tania here. I won't be writing a lot of opening since what I'm going to say is hard to be explain. I don't know whether this is true or not, but I always have this feeling that there are some people that feel amazed and confused on how could I —still— stay with people who —clearly— are the type that not a lot of people wanted to be friend with. Hahaha, what a long sentence for the second paragraph. I am hard to explain who those people are, but they are the people who owned the characters that considered as negative characters, that somehow annoyed you. If you ask me, "could you stand that kind of person?", well I honestly will tell you that I couldn't. But how could you actually stand with that kind of person? The key is only to be a positive person. I know, I am not always a positive person, but I have always push myself to be one when I met those unique people. Annoyed? Of course. Any advantages? Of course no advantages. But why? Because they

As I have written on my previous post, I am going to tell you the second miracle that God has done at the barbeque party. I have a friend who is going to get married soon. She has just come back from her holiday where she also did her pre-wedding photo session at there. As wedding preparations are a lot and a lot of money is needed, it is a usual thing for every couple to look for quite good facilities but at an affordable price. And my friend, a female, wanted to have a video clip about her and her boyfriend for their wedding reception by herself. She has already planned to take a lot of videos by herself and has asked my help to edit the videos into a short video clip. But the other difficulties is, my friend also didn't know how to shoot well, moreover, she didn't know the settings for the video. You know, like what shutter speed she should put, the ISO / gain, the fps, and mostly, to shoot in a good angle. She was very excited yet feeling tired that she couldn't learn

As what the title is, I am going to share you the surprised that God did to me. Last Saturday night, I would be going to have barbeque party at my friend's house. Everything to be prepared was good, but my condition was somehow a little bit disturbing. I am on my period and it was my 3rd day of period on my barbeque day. You know, on the first and the second day of my period, the blood came out the most when it was "noon going to night" time, and they were a lot. And after that, the blood would come out quite much until I woke up the next day. So, of course, I was worrying if the same thing will happen on my 3rd day, moreover, usually the blood still comes out a lot when it is my 3rd day. But guess what? God turned things to be well handled. The blood that came out mostly at the "noon going to night" time didn't happen on my 3rd day of period. What a relief. While having fun and eating delicious foods, I didn't feel anything bad at all, and I haven'

Again, and even more than 2 years, I have not updating anything here. Told you, I was actually love to write again, but as things change a lot and so fast, there are things that telling me not to post so much about myself. I mean, now internet is not really a personal enjoyment anymore. Everyone uses this "internet" chance to grow business and build a better image of themselves. It's not that we couldn't do any personal enjoyment anymore on internet, but it's just that, I am feeling insecure everytime I want to write on this blog, since people rarely express anything beside their happiness anymore on the internet. T he whole world is just like competing to be the happiest people on earth. And after all these years, I push myself back now to write again, with a usual habit of mine, writing mostly about my bad times. I know, this kinda makes me looking so childish, but you know, I have been living so much listening to people's words and now I am just trying to