taniaangel.

26th September 2014, was the day i was turning to my 19th year still living in this earth. As the time goes by, i slowly felt that birthday is going to be nothing special anymore year by year. I am still the one who keep wandering who would remember my birthday. That's why, until now, i have never actived my birthday information. I just wanted to know who are the ones that remember and willing or even cannot wait for my special day to come. I just wanted to know how important am i for how many people. Because i know, as people going older, they become wiser and know what is important and not important, including the birthday people. And this year, i am so thankful. Better than last year. Last year was the worst birthday ever i think. But, i won't think about it anw. This year's, was such a great birthday. I couldn't tell you how, but i am thankful. And more thankful because knowing that i still have my precious ones to make me happy. To be always by my side and to be al

Every human should be able to choose from some choices. As human, we grow to learn to be able to choose the right choice. Then, to tell you, from what i am thinking right now, we should decide our choice mostly by our happiness, then priority, and finally for other people's sake. Why am i stating like that? First of all, happiness from what i said didn't mean a happiness for a short time, it is about a happiness for the future. And why happiness? it is because nobody could make you happy more than yourself, because everyone should do another things to make themselves happy too. Next about priority. After we've decided based on our happiness, it becomes a responsibility for us. Which means, we should keep being loyal of what we are doing although we are bored of doing those happiness things. Everybody knows that although we love everything that we do, still there is a time where we are all realized that why should we be loving this jo

So now i am drawning into sadness Feeling about those people one by one Imagining how hard the life that they've been through All the pain that they kept all these times They wish to speak those emotion out but they couldn't Someone they need to share all those happenings But to find one who really understands is a little chance Confuse who should they tell first from most of the closest and hoping that, to choose that friend as first won't be disappointing Wanting that friend to understand all the shares we've told Sometimes, everything didn't turn out to be what we wanted There are times when that trusted friend has disappointed us Knowing that happened, we're afraid to trust more Then soon we became close-hearted where we hardly to share Still, there will always be a wish to find a trusted one But in the other side, we are afraid that the same one might happen Then it all becomes complicated We need someone to trust to

I am tired of all these things coming to my life but i couldn't loosen my laughter . Wishing to spit everything out but i know if i spit them out again , i will get those extremely uncontrol-able emotional again. Hoping there is some help from people but i realized that it's not their problem and i shudn't let them feel much of my problem. Oh Dear God, in only You i could express all of them. I know You read how my heart is writing I know You will cover my heart. E N D

I am here just trying to live well and it doesn't mean that i will always be a very kind person because i live to keep my life, not to keep others' wishes in me. I have bunches of peoplas that i love and still loving 'em although in the acknowledgement of they are not just coming but also leaving. But still, they are how my heart were made of. So many times that i was being played by others, yet also so many times i forgave the player, why? I dunno, i have always felt that, i love them and i wanna them to feel my love. Then, for those player who never wanted to realize and change, at the end they are playing with my kindness again. For the night has come in the middle of the time, i will end my jotting here and have a good moment in my head. I tell you, once i meet you and i feel moved of you, since then, i will always love you. God blesses you, as always. E N D

I found myself not able to sleep and it is 2 a.m. right now I don't know why it is like this, but then let me write some things that I really wish to spit out right now I kept thinking about how my life could be when I am a lucky one to be surrounded by wealthy people My mean, specially, in having a wealthy guy as my boyfriend and future husband Sometimes, I really wished to have that kind of guy A wealthy guy which means he could just do anything because he is rich but then he is still being humble How lucky I am if I could really have a guy like that Well, everyone of course will not reject it when they finally meet someone like that Rich and humble It's like everything is too perfect already It's like you are glad to be able to make your friends get jealous on you But then, I keep realizing myself I shouldn't be looking for that kind of things I should keep working hard to be able to pay all of my needs And of course I shouldn't be wishing to have that because I

Dear my best friends, I am here ready for you if you ask But then I know that I cannot always be available when you ask I will try to give you my best So then, if you got any problem with yourself, come and tell me and ask me Do not just stay quiet all the time And waiting for people to come and ask about you anything I couldn't understand you if you never tell me anything We are now best friends because of what we did before, We were so close to be true until everyone is very surprise to see that how could we became best friends But now, it's a little bit different You rarely come to me and ask for anything And somehow, I should keep looking for you to ask you how do you do It's not that I don't want to look for you first, But then I realized that I have been looking for people too much until I was being told that I looked like someone who always seek for people's careness for me. No, I am not that kind of person and I have never thought to do that. But in return,

It has been years that I am writing my blog and even I have loved to write since many years ago. Since the first time of writing, there are a lot of posts about my problem more than my thankful post, yesh I knew and I realized. Then why am I still writing when I am in a problem though I knew that I have been posting my problems in social media and it's not good ? It is because, this is the last choice I will do when I feel like nothing will really understand what I feel. So what about people's view about me doing like this, if you ask ? Well, I don't really care about what they thought of me because I knew, they are people who really keep their image close. Here I am trying to tell you that, I just wanted to be overt (open-self) and I want people to know how is my life. I am not showing off, please do not think as like that. I  just want to bring you to imagine while reading my post, what will you think and do when you are in the same situation wi

I don't know when will all this stop I don't know when will I stop looking I don't know when will I stop liking I don't know when will I stop waiting I don't know when will I stop staring I don't know when will I stop pretending I don't know when will I stop jealousing I don't know when will I stop thinking I don't know when will I stop searching I don't know when will I stop feeling sad I don't know when will I stop sleeping so late I don't know when will I stop questioning myself And I don't know when will you be back for me. But one thing for sure, I have been trying to be busy and forget everything but still this heart can't stop. E N D

It's February and there are Chinese New Year celebration and Valentine celebration. Both of those celebration included as "Love Month" because when Chinese New Year, we are able to get closer together with our big family by visiting our family and giving red pocket to the children and when Valentine, it is a celebration of the love towards everybody that we truly love. Chinese New Year celebration is still going because the celebration is 15days but because we still need money to buy our needs, so mostly people use 3 full days maximal to visit or being visited by other people. After 3 days, people won't use their whole day to celebrate Chinese New Year but then they are still able to arrange the time if there is another person that want to visit them. In this Chinese New Year, of course I still got my red pockets but I don't really hope much for getting the red pocket already like I used to be when I was younger. On the 1st day, my family visited to all of

Kay, i feel stupidier for liking someone. I really think that I shud be waiting for someone to come and I shud never ever speaks how my heart is before a guy that I like speaks out that he has a feeling for me. You know, I have been missing a lot of things and I keep having a lot of questions about him. - how are you? - what are you doing? - have you eaten your food? - how's life going? - how's your study going? - do you miss the day we talk a lot? - do you know how i have been waiting for you to start the conversation? - did i disturb you? - why you are so ignorance? - did i make you feel awkward? - could you just forgot what I have confessed to you last time? - can we get back to the time where i haven't told you about my feeling so that i can still discuss a lot of things with you? Well, those questions are useless because the answer will always be no for positive questions and yes for negative questions. I think I do really hope too much. And i have been very embarrasse

Happy New Year my lovely reader :) Let's treasure 2014 more and let's be a better person than we were in 2013. Well, this post's topic isn't about new year, but then about the dream i had yesterday. I was dreaming about the person that I like. It was a shocking dream for me, honestly. In my dream, he kept following me and kept helping me in all the way he could do. He will always be there for me wherever I need something. And in that dream, I was like this to him, "hellooo, aren't you liking another girl and why did you keep following me?"  Yeah, in my dream, I felt annoy with his surprising changes. And he was just smiling and kept doing everything for me. And also, something happened in my dream. While we were walking, suddenly we met that girl that he has liked for more than 3 years and then they talked and i kept walking. I still remembered, in that dream, I was very jealous that's why I ignored them and just walk away. But then, they just talked